the maus wasn't healthy

anyway

All what happened and the Bread Party

Since last sunday this has been a festival of EATING and MEETING.

such big amazement is to see how the bread dough doubles it size in some hours!

Jonas Mekas would be proud of this continuous celebration of life!


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from black and white to color

From Black and White to Colour by TAUMH

The story of the bleeding mouse feelings and Moving pens and pencils on white paper to counteract exile

I most likely have killed a mouse. Either me or the gigantic gate of the building. It's nose was bleeding and after 3 minutes of jumping in circles it died. I grabbed a plastic bag to carry it to a safe place on the soil. It was very soft and warm and it all was very sad. The Ceremony will take place in the closest tree bottom and the mouse will continue his life as a buddist believer.

M and me went to draw and paint in an exhibition of Berlin based canadian artists. I signed up for a painting and drawing techniques course nearby and the first day was like a meditation session. We silently painted with acrilic and printed on papers with no rules.

The seconds passing by are specially funny when reading employement small adds. You need a 24 hour smile, experience, leading skills and all that confidence. All those things I seem to be keeping for my next life as an aubergine. For now I am still thrown to the empty space, wandering between constelations deciding if three hundred ninety-four galleries in Berlin are wrong or not and why they are showing such works of art.

the letters of autumn

the walls will be full

"He is criticizing me for not being married. Agustinas says, if he had married he wouldn't have made so many photographs.
The Old man: What's the use of photographs? The walls will be full, but life will be empty."



I had nowhere to go, Jonas Mekas.




I was thinking about London, one three nine to Waterloo. Today Egle told me Jonas Mekas is going to be in London the 17th. The date and all is all so meaningfull that I thought to myself I'd fly there for the Flux Party to meet him. Then landed from the dream.

Berlin is not going to be like London

that doesn't mean London was bad, it was really good.

Moscow Clouds Drama . jpg

Around the suburbs of Moscow a dramatic view that shaked my spine anticipated the change in the course of my life.

everything is possible

Be home. Or somewhere between 2 walls and doors and windows and neighbours. And think, find out what part of my inside is real and has the stronger will to live and so we can develope together. Me and my will. But the flows are so irregular that I find myself changing every second second, not changing my mind but making up the plans over. And the flows relate to the music that I hear, the music some of you have filled me with and then sometimes abandoned me and the music gained an intependent character that pushes me to spaces and mental companies that may remind me to this yous that abandoned me but no necessarily are. So this music makes me keep floating in the surface and navigate through my thoughts and my memories with or without every you. And grow through it, make up so many different ways to go and get the feeling that, really, everything is possible, but the latent possibility of everything makes everything impossible because nearly nothing has ever become real and most of things won't probably be. So if everything is possible that means most of the things aren't possible at all. Maybe for the lack of time, for the lack of believe or because some of those things are just possible as an idea and the realization of the thing isn't really the aim of its existence but the thought of its possibility. So that everything is possible is something by itself, a thought that is already complete and doesn't need to be fullfilled to prove that is real.

You might want to check this website to see the proof that it is real http://www.worlds-end-girlfriend.org/

Sindrome de Tetris

This is what I mean when I say Tetris Syndrome

Estudio

Candy Shops and how the world works

I passed by the candy shop that is runned by a chinese family. It is just beside the cinema, but this is not the kind of cinema where customers eat candy throughout the movie. So I don't know how this candy shop surivives. I thought candy shops best times was in the 90', before all kinds of sugar, fat and chemical additives turned as bad as terrorism. There are more than 3 chinese businesses less than 50 m away from my building.

They stay in their shops all day long. I never talk to them. I used to try speaking in chinese with all asian looking persons but after some communication failures, I stopped. They are mainly unfriendly with the fact that I could undertsand their code or intend to join their closed community. I feel both curious and pitty.That round mother and the tiny father both sit outside the candy shop. The kid keeps walking up and down the street and eats everything he wants from the shelves. Yes he is quite round as well and it feels like they hate us. How can I make them understand how the world works. First because they will not become rich with a candy shop in this street. And second because to keep a friendly life is one of the richest ways to live.

And, because I never bought there before, (I can't stand candy, I see it directly useless) I thought today I'd get into the shop with the only purpose of putting a smile on their faces. So I bought chocolates. And they stood there waiting for me to finish. And said 'thanks' after I gave them the money. And in 5 minutes I didn't deserve a single tiny smile. So maybe they should tell ME how the world works. Because I might think they failed loosing their time in the candy shop. But I failed already trying to make people come together. And believing it is possible.

http://taumh.wordpress.com/


Gas Station Worker

Beijing, December 2008

taumh

ataques de dislexia

Quizás sea por el hábito a la adrenalina que me estoy volviendo disléxica. Se me nota en los chats y en el habla. Yo no tomo muchas drogas, sólo azúcar, harina y chocolate. Y por mi curiosidad, mi insistencia y demás disparates no hago más que fabricar adrenalina. En cuanto a las relaciones, cuando alguien viene pidiendome consejo, después de hablar conmigo los aconsejados siempre rompen con sus parejas (aunque luego siempre vuelvan). Yo! que nunca he dejado una relación. O nunca a tiempo. O casi nunca, con lo bonitos que son los finales alargados. Pero reconozco que los finales repentinos ligados a una revelación dolorosa o una separación, aunque me hagan sentir como quedarme sin aire dentro del mar muerto; por lo menos eliminan toda la agonía. Que esta casi me deshilacha mucho más las fibras estomacales. Y por lo menos en un final repentino uno puede sonreir al vacío con ojos de miedo y eso significa mucha, mucha adrenalina.

Reminiscences of a trip to Beijing

This is Beijing under my cruel manipulation.

Jonas Mekas Jonas Mekas Jonas Mekas

If I ever go to New York I have to go and meet Jonas Mekas. Just like my friend Gina, when she went to Danmark and she talked to Lars von Trier. I think my interest in this lithuanian godfather of American avant-garde filmmaking is turning into adoration, not because I like his films (so difficult to catch that I just got to see one of them in the Tate Modern and I ended up going to see it about 6 times but never saw the whole thing) but because I think he says with his words -from interviews and diaries- so many of the things that already run inside my head but I haven't found a name to say them. He has existed from 1922 and lived through the war, exile, 60's in NY and now he is recognised but he is not rich and so not rich will I be. But sure he is proud.

This is a not random piece of an Interview 3am Magazine made to him in 2005 that has a copyright. Is not a random piece but I am sure that if I had taken a random one it would have been just as good because it is all great.

And that is a photo from the Early Rainy Beijing with my small compact digital camera. When I still trusted in it.

taumh.wordpress.com

"3AM: That's a lot longer than the conventional Hollywood film.

JM: Oh yes. But that's because they have a script and they have a story to tell in that time. I have no script. The story is me and the people around me. It's there, it's real life and there is no other. I'm not carrying any other story. There is no suspense. There is no violence. There is no drama. There is no violence because I am not interested in it. I'm interested in the celebration of life. I'm leaving violence to others. I consider there's too much focus on abnormality, violence, ugliness and anger. I consider that it's all been well covered, maybe too much, by the others. It just does not interest me."

on trees

abcdefghijklmnopqrstvwyz

"But really I'm fascinated by trees, and the randomness of nature. They preoccupy me because of the randomness of life", said David Hockney in an Interview after donating a big big painting to the Tate Modern. It would be really cool to be David Hockney . It would be even cooler to be a tree but I have to say it is also cool to be myself with this inner explosions of ideas and emotions -sometimes big, sometimes huge, sometimes microsize, sometimes really inconvenient for others beside me-.
Walking into Richmond Park on the 5th of may I heard a tree branch that broke and felt appart from this tree and I laught because I usually always laugh when things fall by accident. Like if life was teasing me with bad things that I find playful instead. I smiled to the kids, and spent the rest of the afternoon lying among tall green grass, away from the world.....

the dead doll

Rainy thoughts

I am home alone, city alone. I have too big bed and my mind starts going grey.
This city has neverending rain,watery thoughts.This house has a million teas.
Ihave millions of seconds where you are missing and you just have silences.
Buses in Waterworld take me around, from Sainsbury's to Tesco's. If I havent drown you already,
give me a blow of air and don't blame me for my insistence. Blame me for the trust I have in you.

Great Wall

Para algunos la única manera de bajar las montañas y de tirarse a las piscinas es bien cojidos a la barandilla.

Help me to Broom clouds away :)